Blog Hop

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Gotcha.

The butt is just bait. This blog post is entirely unrelated to that beaut of a bum.
Today, I’m going to take a departure from my normal advice giving blog post style and participate in a little something called a Blog Hop.
This really cool thing happened where blogger extraordinaire, The Sex Geek, contacted me about being part of this chain-letter-esque questionnaire wherein which she answered a series of questions and linked to The Fucking Facts (and other inspiring blogs, such as Cuntext and Born Whore) and now I will do the same.

The questions are geared towards established authors with careers and book deals and all them things. Seeing as how I don’t have a book deal (yet), I’m going to reframe some of them as being related to blogging. And I will try, when I can, to slip in some dirty words and bits of advice, just to make it all worth your while.

What is the work­ing title of your next book blog post?
As stated, my “next book” is a non-thing. I don’t even have “a book”. But, in the mean time, my next blog post will be titled “Slurring Smut From Your Word Hole” and it will be all about long distance lovin’. Keep your eyes peeled.

Where did the idea come from for the book the blog?
I started writing this blog just over a year ago now. It was something I finally began after having thought about it for years. The experience of working at a sex-positive sex shop had really brought up a lot of my own personal hang ups regarding sex, and allowed me to look at the hang ups of others as well. Luckily, my job at Venus Envy allowed me the support and the resources to work through any funny feelings I had (and still sometimes have) about fucking. But, it made me wonder where other folks go to talk about and learn about sex in a positive and anti-oppressive atmosphere. And, considering how many strangers come into Venus Envy and disclose to myself and my co-workers their very intimate insecurities surrounding sex, I am led to believe that there aren’t a lot of places to do this kind of work. So, I started blogging in response to this. I wanted there to be a really accessible space where people could read about sex. I wanted this space to create a dialogue that would include all people, regardless of their gender, sexual orientation, abilities, class, educational background, ethnicity and race. It’s an ambitious desire. And I’m not sure that this blog is really achieving all that. But I’m still trying. The Fucking Facts is only a year old! It’s just a bebe! There is still so much time and space for things like guest bloggers, book deals, and all my other hopes and dreams coming true.

What genre does your book your blog fall under?
Huh. I’ve never been good at categorizing things. Remember that time I tried to define my sexuality and called it “poop brown”? Ya, that happened. If I can’t define myself, you can only imagine how daunting I find this question. However, in the interest of obedience and following the blog hop rules, I’ll go with The Fucking Facts being called a feminist, sex-positive, shit-talking, queer-ish blog.

Which actors would you choose to play your char­ac­ters in a movie ren­di­tion?
Again: I still don’t have a book deal, and I feel sure no one will be making a movie rendition of my blog. But, if there were to be a movie rendition of my life then I want to play myself and I want Jiz Lee to play my lover and maybe it can be a porno and maybe we can do it in an elevator? Ya, that’s what I want.

What is the one-sentence syn­op­sis of your book blog?
The Fucking Facts tries to get us all hot n’ horny, reminding us that we’re all Total Mega Babes who deserve all the dirty sex we want, without shame and with consent.

Will your book be self-published or rep­re­sented by an agency?
This question is irrelevant.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your man­u­script?
It takes me an embarrassingly long time to write anything. Case in point: I was supposed to have posted this questionnaire on Wednesday.

What other books blogs would you com­pare this to within your genre?
If you’re looking for another sex-positive blog by another sexual health educator, check out Megan Butcher’s Radial Symmetry. I’m especially into the “Your Weekly Dose” section where she posts bits of dirty flash fiction.
I’m also pretty into Shameless, which is a rad magazine and blog for “girls and trans youth” officially, but I think it’s great for everyone, regardless of age.
Oh, and, I think and hope that the way that I talk about disability stuff, when I choose to talk about it, is kind of like the way Lulu talks about it at the awesome blog Where’s Lulu? .

Who or what inspired you to write this book this blog?
I already covered this. But, some other inspiring blogs that I reference when I need some writing stimulation are:       Mia Mingus’ Leaving Evidence or Lee’s Access Culture: Queer Crip Commentary if I need to read the words of other radical disability activists. And then Fuck Yeah Dykes and Hot Milk and Cold Women if I just need to look at babes and pretty things.

What else about your book blog might pique the reader’s inter­est?
Hm. I’m not sure. I actually am constantly surprised that people seem to be reading these dirty little essays I’m putting out into the world. Perhaps all your interests are piqued because I’m a self-proclaimed inexpert expert who doesn’t often knows what she’s doing but is never too shy to share all her sexual slip ups and fucking faux-pas’? Or maybe ya’ll just read me because you’ve got a hard-on for alliteration, like I do? Or maybe it’s just because you’re my pals? Is it just my friends reading this blog anyway? Who are you out there?

On Being A Sex Expert

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I guess it was inevitable.
You can’t talk as much talk as I talk & write as much write as I write (I posted my own personal erotica on the internet!) without getting a bit of a reputation.

And, I suppose it fits. I suppose it does, in fact, make the most sense to call me a “sex expert”. While I sometimes feel uncomfortable with the connotations of being an  expert at anything at all, I do believe that I do know a little something about doin’ it. And if I don’t know, I’ll try my best to figure it out. I’ll do the research. I’ll try absolutely anything once. Usually twice.

This sex expert reputation – it’s earned me a task or two.

For one, I’m taking over the airwaves. This Saturday November 10th from 6 to 7 you can hear me wax poetic and spill sexy secrets on CKDU‘s Potato Salad Radio Show. You can even call in and ask me for advice, question me your queries. Call CKDU at (902) 494-2487 to talk with me direct, or leave a confidential voicemail at (902) 494-8041.

For two, I am now a certified sex columnist for NSCAD‘s new & improved student paper, CRIT. You can find this pretty printed matter at Halifax’s One Block Barber Shop. Or, you can read my column right here, right now. It’s copy and pasted below. Read on! And follow my advice, pretty please. As I request in the column: “Ask me how to squirt, suck, and slide. Ask me how to rim, rough-house and ride.” All questions can be confidentially emailed to kaleigh at venus envy dot ca. Gimme something to write about.

On Being A Sex Expert

I guess there are some things I should tell you.

I should maybe tell you that I am a wildly inexpert expert.
As a lover, I’ve made all the errors you can make.
I have laughed when I was supposed to have moaned. My bodily orifices have made grossly unattractive noises at grossly inappropriate moments. I have spit when I meant to have swallowed, and bit when I meant to have sucked.

And perhaps I should let you know that I don’t always know what I am doing.
I don’t crawl into bed, or into my back seat, or sneak into bathroom stalls with someone and know exactly what to do with their body. I have read the books and watched the porn, but that doesn’t always translate into practice.

But then again, maybe none of that matters.

Maybe what matters is that I have been working at a feminist sex shop for long enough to know that there is almost never an “expert” expert.

What I know for certain about sex is that almost nothing is certain. I know that all bodies like different things. I know that like snowflakes, each and every single dick is different. Ditto for vulvas. And for all parts, no matter what you call ‘em. I know that lots of different people can and do fuck in lots of different ways, and I know that communicating about sex is really the only way to figure out what is best for you.

And of course, I have had sex. Some really fucking great sex, at that. And I’ve had bad sex too. In my attempts to learn more and more and more, and be a real “expert”, I have made all the mistakes you can possibly make.

So, thems my credentials. I have had some sex, some good, some bad. I work at a rad sex shop, and therefore have access to all sorts of sexual knowledge. Not only can I casually borrow a book on blow jobs on my lunch break, but I can also ask my brilliant and brazen co-workers their advice. Oh, and lastly, I do have this whole blog thing too, called thefuckingfacts.com, where I explore sex even deeper. The Fucking Facts is a place where I can talk sex and politics and facts and fucking all in one go. Check it out.

Anyway, all of that to say: I’m ready. I’m primed. I’ve been warmed up. I’ve been prepped. I’m hot n’ heady, and my fingers are at the keys, just raring to go.

So, write me your questions. Ask me your sex advice. Let this be your bi-monthly column where I can tell you all about finger-fucking & ass-sucking, muff-diving & boner-riding. Or, we can get heavy and I can talk about abortions and break-ups, about mistakes and heart aches. Because that’s a big part of sex too. It can be light, and it can be heavy.

Write your questions and queries to: kaleigh at venusenvy dot ca.
Ask me how to squirt, suck, and slide. Ask me how to rim, rough-house and ride.
I’ll try and answer thoughtfully. I will try to not always rhyme.
Let’s begin a real explicit, real vulgar, and real honest relationship, you and I.
So, write me. Try it. All questions will be considered confidential.