Cucumbers & Peepholes


The most addictive thing about blogging is checking your stats. I check my stats about as often as I get checked for STI’s, which, if you’ve read my blog, you know I do all the time. It’s a weird point of vanity (the stat checking, not the constant pap smears).

The most engrossing part of checking my stats is seeing what things people have typed into Google that have lead them to me. Because this blog is all about sex, the words that people use to find me are hilarious and typically dirty as shit. The stuff people ask Google even I am too classy to repeat.

I’m kidding. I will totally repeat it.

So, without further ado, I bring you my favourite twelve search terms people have used to find (typos ‘n all).

12. can you rub a nose against a pussy for pleasure

11. does your cock get smaller if you shove things up your ass

10. The vagina makes the rules, the dick fucks them.

9. can i put this cucumber in my arsehole?

8. best way to sex and fucking

7. can you fuck your ass in a sex toy or a thing?!?

6. giving blowjobs with a condom is like shitting with ur underwear

5. my guys poohole

4. what is the name for shoving thing up your bum sexually

3.  sex foking sex bag sex sex

2.  does shove thing up ur butt help poop

1. can i fit pinkie down peephole


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