By now, after three years of working in a sex shop, I am completely normalized to the presence of sex toys. They are all over my life, and I forget that that could even possibly make someone uncomfortable. I pull vibrators outta my purse while I’m looking for a pen; I leave dildos on my kitchen table. It don’t mean a thing.
But, there are moments when I realize that not everyone carries dicks around in a bag with ‘em.
When people come into the shop giggling uncomfortably, clutching their friends, and whispering to one another their uncertainties.
I get it. I can remember my first time walking into the store I now work at. I was terrified. I was the one clutching my friend, fiddling with my hair. Too nervous to even ask questions, I grabbed the first vibrator I saw- a bulbous, pink, hunk of plastic that then sat in my underwear drawer for 2 years, unused.
Sex toys can be nerve-wracking. How the fuck is one supposed to know what’s gonna feel good? It’s a bit of a gamble, and that’s a hard question to ask.
But, sex toys can also be a whole lot of fun, and are worth a try for everyone, whether your 19 and have never had an orgasm, 85 and want to start having orgasms again, or even if you’re a 45-year-old-orgasm-machine and just want to try something new. Because, as exciting as it is a lot of the time, even sex can get boring. Vibrating eggs, silicone cocks, or whatever, can really spice things up.
So, here are some hot tips for you.
I’m’a break down some basic sex toy categories.
I encourage you to read this, wander into your local sex shop, and grab a little somethin’ somethin’.
Vibrators: vibrators are exactly what they sound like- things that vibrate. They can be made hard or soft, big or small, powerful or subtle, phallic or egg-like. You can put ‘em against your clit; inside your vagina; in your bum (if they meet the aforementioned requirements!) ; against your scrotum, perineum, penis; or in your ear if that’s your thing. Whatever! They can be expensive or inexpensive, battery powered or electric. They are all a pretty good time, in my humble opinion, but, if you haven’t used one before I recommend starting cheap. Buy something that is versatile (is big enough to be used internally or externally), has a range of speeds, and doesn’t cost a pretty penny. Then you can just try it out to see if you even like the feel of vibrations. Here is a great starter. Then say you find out that, hot damn, this is fer sure the thing for you, you could invest in a better quality, more durable, longer lasting type thing. Like this one. Lelo is what I call the Mac of vibrators. So sleek!!!!
Dildos: dildos are penetrative objects. The point is to put ’em in a hole. They most often don’t vibrate. Like vibrators, they can be a plethora of materials, sizes, shapes, and colours. When choosing one, the thing to consider is what size works for your body. Everyone is different. Another thing to keep in mind is the material. Silicone is really the best option because a silicone dildo can be sterilized by boiling it in a pot of water for 2-5 minutes. This way you can share your toys if you wanna, and keep ‘em real clean too!
Butt Toys: butt toys are, obviously, things to put in your bum. This could mean a dildo, as mentioned above. Or it could mean anal beads, which are a string of beads graduating in size. These are fun because when the beads are removed, they cause your anal sphincters to contract, which can feel pretty nice. Or a butt toy could be a plug. Butt plug’s are meant to rest inside your bum and create a feeling of fullness. When starting out with butt toys, I recommend a nice small plug as a primer, like this one. And here again, silicone is a nice way to go.
Penis Toys: Sex toys are not just for vulvas! Who started this rumor? There are a lot of fun things out there to please a peen. Cock rings are one option. Cock rings are meant to be worn at the base of the penis, either around the testicles or not. They work to stem blood flow out of the penis, which keeps it hard for longer, and makes the whole thing feel more sensitive to touch. Cock rings can also vibrate, which can feel pretty good. Another thing for penises is masturbator sleeves! These are texturized tubes meant to add some extra ribbing that a hand just can’t provide. They can be large, faux-vulva’s, like the infamous Fleshlight,or small non-descript sleeves like the adorable Tenga Eggs.
Kinky Toys: a wide range of toys fall into the kink category. It’s a subject so broad and exciting that it’s worth a whole post of its own. But, to just give you a tantalizing teaser, kinky toys can be bondage accessories, like this super sweet bondage tape or these mega sexy cuffs; sensory toys, like the Wartenberg wheel or feathers; and so many other power play accessories, such as floggers, gags, n’ collars.
These are just some basics. The best way to figure out more, and to figure out what’cha like, is to try it out.